This has been a rather epic weekend.
On Friday, and after much deliberation over the last year, we went through our first round of IUI. The procedure itself was easy peasy, the hardest part (for me) being the boring 20 minutes I spent afterwards with my legs in the air. The chances of this working are not much better than a more natural approach to the sperm and egg meet and greet, but my doctor says that my recent HSG and an increase in my Clomid dosage may help.
We had determined that one of my fallopian tubes is almost totally blocked, so we really are starting with 50%. It does not surprise my doctor that we had not had a successful pregnancy in the last couple of years (the one being ectopic, on the blocked side). In some ways, I'm glad to not be stuck in the realm of unexplained infertility. Until now, we didn't have a clear understanding of why pregnancy has just not been happening for us. Pretty consistently over the last 24 months, we've timed sex (as you do) to correspond with the times leading up to and away from ovulation. This has been incredibly frustrating, to say the least.
In fact. That is one of the worst things about this, how it has taken over my mind. Invaded. You could be talking to me about how you had scrambled eggs for breakfast and I'd be thinking eggs and uterus and fertilization. I have been afraid to run these last couple of days because I haven't wanted to shake the egg out of implantation mode.
I can't say I am at the point where I am completely hopeless, because I honestly believe that all of this effort and energy is going to result in a pregnancy, but last month was the hardest month yet for the BFN (negative pregnancy test, for those who don't know). While we were in New Orleans, I had convinced myself (beyond a reasonable doubt) that I had done everything to get pregnant and that it was finally going to happen. I had (against my better judgment) determined the baby's due date and started thinking about where I had packed away all of those ridiculous books about pregnancy. You know, at three weeks your baby looks like an amphibian.
On the plus side, I passed my licensure exam. I've been in process since our move, and I am ready to get back into work now. It's really very exciting and a huge relief that I will not have to study for it anymore. It had taken over my free time. The exam itself was not easy and there were some moments when I literally sweated over not passing it. We had a dinner planned for that night to celebrate it being over, and I would have probably LIED to our friends if I had failed. Obviously.
It's snowing here. We are at T minus 28 days until we leave for St. Martin. Score.